Photo by Yohann Aberkane
I get the need for online social networking; we live in a world larger than our egos and understandably want to shrink it into pocket-sized packets.
I get it, really: what is geography in the face of human ambition? Who does the Mediterranean think it is to stand in the way of my desire to broadcast myself across the globe?
So part of our lives will inevitably be conducted online, and I have come to accept that. But we really ought to be careful which parts we digitize. Communication is an easy choice, and eventually when tuna and mayonnaise become digital I fully approve of lumping sandwiches under communication and moving on with our lives.
But relationships are not meant to be conducted online. A friend of mine, Aida, is now experiencing heartbreak in the neighboring Messenger window. Her boyfriend of four years has just buggered off to Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan or whichever sufficiently distant and imaginary country louts run off to. He didn’t break up with her so much as ignore her for the last two weeks he was in the country – quite a feat considering they live together.
‘But I know it’s over, because he changed our relationship status on Facebook.’
Blink.
We’re like that though, aren’t we? Men, I mean. When someone decides to dedicate their life to us we instantly devalue it, and over time grow weary and start looking around. We’re dogs, the whole lot of us; but that’s not what I’m criticizing him for.
Dogs or not we still have options. We can choose to admit our canine nature early on and never let anyone get attached. We can choose to have a simple, open relationship and create a friendship that will thrive even as the sex dwindles. And of course, should we find ourselves at a point where we’re about to rip apart four years of someone’s life, we can choose to be upfront about it.
That’s not an easy choice, but where once upon a time dramatic changes to your social life were required if you intended to avoid a former partner, you now only have to switch your status to away.
‘He wouldn’t even answer me when I asked if it’s over; he just sat at the computer and chatted with some chick overseas – and whatever I said he wouldn’t delete her!’
That’s hitman code if I’ve ever heard any; 14 grand or the pretty girl gets deleted… Where was I?
This chick had plastered herself all over his Facebook wall, commented on all his photographs and whispered sweet nothings to his inbox; she instant-messaged him, SMSed him and likely dreamed of the day they’d have sex over three technologies – because that’s what modern love leads to.
Combine that electronic guilt with the fact that he was likely short a chromosome or two to begin with, the boyfriend droned on about his dissatisfaction to a virtual lover and never gathered the courage to break it off physically with his own, and Aida was stuck between a cyber-chick and a drama queen. She deleted her Facebook profile.
Well he’s gone, she’s resilient, and the healing will begin. She’ll soon be laughing again and spending more time with us, all good news. And all we have to do is make sure that the next guy she dates hasn’t digitized his testicles.
You You You are getting married!! Mabrouk 
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typo in the quote frame.
*comment to be deleted once irrelevant*
@Agénor
Merci mon ami. Heck no, I’m proud of my mistakes, and the friends that point them out
The world is becoming more digitized, as you have wisely pointed out, and communicating digitally is becoming easier than in person. But I would venture to guess that you have thrown in a personal fact or two yourself somewhere in your blog entries, that you would not otherwise reveal if you couldn’t ‘hide’ behind the shelter of the screen. At least, my blog is full of such occurrences. There are two sides to every coin.
You have opened up quite a HUGE topic here, the whole issue of technology. On the one hand it’s good, on the other, pitiful garbage. I for one think it’s incredibly sad that paper books are (slowly) becoming a thing of the past, with “digital readers” popping around everywhere. But I think mobile phones and email (or internet as a whole, for that matter) are God’s gifts to man!! I guess you can’t have your cake, and eat it too; it’s a shame, really!
@Inna
That’s just the thing about writing isn’t it? More revealing than a naked streak down a super-highway. All good fun though.
And that’s just the thing about rants. I love just kicking a subject in the head without having to analyze it too much. I don’t think books will die anytime soon though, not until the internet is truly global and highspeed; but the trend is certainly heading there. They’ll eventually find a medium that mimics paper enough to satisfy the bibliophiles and runs with enough power to keep the geeks happy.