My Bin Laden

Charbel Khalil made his name by finding Bin Laden, straightening out politicians and comically dismissing the country’s leaders; something he still doesn’t regret, even if it almost started a war.

So, essentially, you’re a man with a death-wish…

[Laughs] Well, it came down to two events really. One was a street event, when I imitated Hassan Nasrallah, and the Ministry shut my program down for a week. That one almost started a war. And a year before that I announced that we’d found Bin Laden in [former Prime Minister] Omar Karameh’s attic. We were shut down for a month that time. I remember there was a diplomatic dinner with PM Hariri in Phoenicia and they started getting SMS messages about Bin Laden’s capture [laughs]. The Lebanese and Syrian armies were on alert at the time and both CNN and Al Jazeera reported the incident. We kicked Wall Street up by nine points just with that bit of theatrics.

How could people not get that it was a joke?

It was subtle. Instead of LIVE, I was broadcasting LIE on the screen corner. They just thought that we’d forgotten the V.

And missed the entire Bin Laden couldn’t possibly be in an attic part… sweet. Well how does it feel?

It tells me that people are watching and that feels good. It tells me that the line of work I’ve chosen is effective and that people like it – I’ve been working on the same program for 13 years. It’s been one of the most watched shows all along and that makes me proud.

But it didn’t start with <Bes Met el Watan…

No it didn’t. It started with Ard Nashrit al Akhbar on Tele Liban. The head of the board at the time asked for a half-hour comedy show that tackles social problems, and that’s what I set out to do. For every ten social sketches, I’d throw in a political one for color and all the comments I’d get the next day were about that one political sketch.

We the people need our politics…

They really did, and I gave it to them. In a year the show became the first purely political satirical show on the local screen, and it worked well and stayed on. Then I changed the name when I moved the show to LBC, but it’s still the same show with the same concept.

And now you’re stirring up trouble with Duma Qratiyeh, where did you dig that one up?

That’s a different show of course, based on puppets. The concept started in London but didn’t work and moved on to France where it has been working well for a couple of decades. I bought the five-year rights from the French franchise and even had the puppets manufactured there. It was costly but the effect was worth it.

And the puppets take themselves seriously…

Of course. People who watch the puppets will notice that while I used to avoid attacking some political parties previously, I no longer spare anyone. In the past three years I’ve decided that while politicians come in various flavors of independence, corruption or transparency, they all dwell in the same hole. In a sense, they all are part of the same problem. They think of their own surroundings, families, people and followers first, and then they think of their country. Maybe. They’re all like that, without exception. So I attack them all, without exception.

And the puppets will make a difference?

It’s not an attempt to change the politicians of course but I do want people to notice what’s happening. It’s an awareness campaign, but a funny one. I used to feel its impact during the elections. I’m sure you remember the nice, prearranged election lists? It didn’t matter what percentage of the people voted for the list, we all knew that these few lists were the entire government. I would criticize that harshly before every election and people would stop me on the street or call me up and tell me that they no longer want to vote since their votes really mean little. I even affected some politicians and their mannerisms on camera, things like their clothing, or way of speaking.

And I assume looking over your shoulder is now second nature?

Nah, I’m used to it all now. I’ll tell you though during the time of explosions and assassinations I did take my precautions, but many of us did. At one point I had protection from the government following a couple of death threats, but if you’re asking whether I’m afraid, well, I’m not. I wouldn’t be in this business if I were.

And you plan to be in the business for long?

Yes, I’m convinced that what I do is the right thing to do. With the situation being what it always is, my work is more of a message than a commercial endeavor these days. I’m committed to it.

Without getting too political, how does the future look from your end?

I’m not optimistic about the near future. We’re still divided between two camps and, well, it’s very difficult not to get political here. Lebanon is complicated.

No matter how humble, there’s no place like home; what’s your favorite part of Lebanon?

My areas of choice are Hrajel and Keserwen. I live in the mountains, up at 1,300 meters. I don’t like cities or the coast really.

Written for Time Out Beirut