The gypsy emperor

Michel Elefteriades – guerrilla fighter, artist, musician – doesn’t even consider himself Lebanese, rather, the Emperor of Nowheristan, a state with no land and where everyone is welcome. Provided they pass the test. Where do we sign up?

The folks back in the office kept calling you the gypsy, why is that?

It might be the look that I used to have when I came back to Lebanon after my exile, or maybe it’s the fact that I don’t really have a home country. I’m as much Cuban as I am Lebanese. I’m French in my thoughts and writing. I used to move around a lot, with a plane as my caravan and I just changed countries as soon as I get bored of a place.

And professions I hear; you’ve been everything from an artist to a guerrilla fighter, really? Have you managed to find yourself?

It’s not like that. I’ve been all those things all the time. When I was fighting with a machine gun in my hand I was still a musician. After the fight, the machine gun was replaced by a guitar. I’m into music, sure, I have had projects lined up for ten years. Music for me is the best way to express my ideas and make money.

And it seems you’re passionate about it.

Yes, of course. I inherited that from my father who’s a great musician. My mother also plays piano. But it only became a viable career in my late twenties, when there was little else to do. I’ve wasted a lot of time and only got into politics in my early teens.

And you’ve held many successful events…

I have. I remember my Wadih al Safi and Jose Fernandez tour was a huge success worldwide. We sold so many albums, it was almost a shock. The press-book was huge. People for and against the combination had a lot to say about it. I love contrasts – in food, in relationships, aesthetics. I love surprises: whores who look like saints and saints who dress like whores, bankers who wear earrings and artists who dress up as bankers. A gypsy and a conservative singer is a lovely contrast, and we traveled all around with it. People loved it.

Do you still roam as much, by the way?

No, no, not at all. It all changed about ten years ago and my roaming mentality was cemented into a culture, one I’ve poured a lot of my beliefs into, which led to the ignition of the Nowheristan project.

I was about to ask you. So what’s the story behind Nowheristan?

People would ask me: ‘Are you Lebanese?’ I’d say yes, and they’d invariably ask: ‘Is that the Lebanese attire?’ No, it isn’t. Same with my name; they’d ask: ‘Isn’t Elefteriades a Greek name? So are you Greek?’ It became tiring so I just created a country. I’m a Nowheristani; people have no idea where that is and the conversation ends there. Simple. A few friends liked it and wanted to become Nowheristanis too. From this anecdotal approach we started pulling together the basis of Nowheristan, its philosophy, political system and culture – a project that can later make a change to the world.

How can an imaginary country make a change?

When you have Nowheristanis all over the world, a few per cent in every country, they can create movement, rise up in civil disobedience – make a change to their system. We have something like 55,000 citizens now. It’s gotten a lot of press everywhere and it’s still going strong. It got some international and political support from the UN and local governments. It’s a lot of fun. I get to be Emperor – little more than a title of course – and I’m working on a car soon, an armored limo that looks a lot like Batman’s car.

How do we sign up?

There’s an online form to fill and a committee based in Switzerland – we have several committees, there’s an office in Starco for instance – it studies the citizenship application, and if approved they’ll send you a certificate. The requirements aren’t steep: you have to agree with our principles and realize that one day you’ll be expected to perform a service for your new country. We might ask you to elect someone specific, help with a civil uprising or do something for global unity and the greater good.

The ultimate purpose being?

Overthrowing all governments and creating a single world government, with no armies or borders, led by two senates of 600 people each, composed of outstanding individuals in their fields, aged 60 or more. There would be a single armed force for controlling terrorism and lawlessness, placed strategically to reach any point in the world. A doctor in Africa will be earning as much as a doctor in the US and the oil of Saudi Arabia will be available to all, as would the waters of the Amazon. There will be a common economy and the entire world will be one territory.

You’re actually serious?

Very serious. I have always been involved in serious projects. Before Nowheristan I was leading the United Movements of Resistance (MUR). A lot of people who’ve helped me during the MUR days were killed and I myself have escaped two assassination attempts. I had to escape to Cuba at the time.

Certainly more refreshing than artists who plan to change the world through song; do you think music makes a difference, while we’re on that?

Well, it can…but not a significant one. You can give a man enough money to eat and you can say you’ve helped. But you could also train him, house him, feed him and give him a job, and also say you’ve helped. It’s not the same. Through politics you can profoundly change people’s lives and dreams.

Well, have you started uniting the world?

Before uniting the world I started uniting the Nowheristanis. Nowheristan counts citizens from all over the world. They share a common vision and have the same dream. It’s a small step but if I have a couple of hundred million behind me, it’s a different story altogether. Einstein used to say that any idea that does not first sound absurd doesn’t have a great future.

Well, it certainly sounds strange; a Utopia of sorts…

Progress is the realization of Utopia. You have to start with dreams, big dreams. Otherwise your entire set of desires will be limited to a supermarket on the corner, a nice car and sex with some hot number.

Tell me then, what perks does the Emperor of Nowheristan get?

None. The Emperor has no power, and can be thrown in jail. He is the first and last Emperor whose only charge is the creation of Nowheristan. The constitution does not allow a successor to the Emperor. It’s just a title, it’s not serious. We like gimmicks because gimmicks are attractive to the media and through these showbiz tricks you can send stronger messages. An ultra-serious book would reach less people than a serious message in flashy, sexy packaging.

What is your favorite place in Lebanon?

My house in Ajaltoun; my library to be specific. Beirut is not what it used to be though.

Written for Time Out Beirut