‘I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any wipes; there’s Kleenex on the table right in front of you though.’ I know he was being helpful, but I’m neither blind nor stupid; nor am I so up there that regular Kleenex no longer met my normal wiping requirements. What bothered me the most though, is that [...]
Tigers don’t care much for humor. To be fair, most animals can’t really laugh; but if tigers could let out the occasional chuckle, it would probably fall somewhere in between a hiccup and a dying gazelle. I make that kind of sound as well, mostly when flawless Chinese women ask if I’d like an escort [...]
Imagine a world where your pleasure is of singular importance, where everyone eagerly caters to your every whim and defines the quality of their very existence through your level of comfort.
I’ve never been much of a rapper, and this is something I now deeply regret. At first glance rap may seem to be something of a grammatical blender. And in the mash-up of words and concepts you might be hard-pressed to believe that there’s an underlying order to the Ebonics, or any sense or reason [...]
With a masterful hand it forms her curves, sprays on the exact shade of tan that communicates directly to your desire, rips out a few stars to make the eyes and sets her hair on fire. Red, red fire.
They stared at each other for a long time, him through the mask and her through a wispy cloud of existential angst. She picked up her bloody Mary and took a sip; whatever magic they seemed to be sharing was absolutely lost on me.
The opinions expressed and implied within this document reflect the author’s meditation on one (1) woman only; the author therefore kindly requests that all feminists sheath their carving knives.
Charlotte’s Blog
You You You are getting married!! Mabrouk 
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