Take me home

Raouche Beirut

Just as Robinson Crusoe rediscovered religion, my mother called to chat, and suddenly I felt a little bit better.

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Man vs. kitten

Tiger eyes

When tigers roamed free, we kept our distance. We lived in mud huts, lit fires and sharpened sticks, and prayed that tigers would just leave our miserable little villages alone.

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Grass and kufta

Spoons of spice

Somewhere in my late twenties I joined the Time Out family, and within a year I had built a mental database of cheeses, meats, oils, herbs and plenty of things that I’d never before let into my stomach.

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Deserts ahoy

Camel Silhouette

We’re not built for sudden changes. When my ancestors travelled they spent weeks preparing ropes and mounts; I packed clean shorts into a small bag and walked through metal detector after detector.

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Burned breakfast

Breakfast table

When it comes to playing with food, nothing is more dangerous than ruining a man’s breakfast.

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Monkey seeds revolution

Bull whip

Corporate Lebanon is a repressive, power-hungry world with nary a ray of hope. One monkey fights back!

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Cats in heat

Bar street

The way cats go about the mating dance leaves little wonder why the species never got around to developing real societies

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Wall of piss

Graffiti, Beirut Art Center

Please and kindly, do not urinate on this wall.

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So long, and thanks for all the Jack

Jack Daniels, Broken

I have it; the answer to our failing economy, our miserable jobs and our national gloom. It’s simple, and has been staring us in the face for a couple of generations.

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Love me Dutch

Wedding rings

‘Well, if all else fails, we can always get married.’

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Fat in Beirut

Mouth and nose, plastic wrap

So, three fat women walk into a government office in Beirut; did that sound like the front end of a bad joke? Let me try again.

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Tone deaf

Man on trumpet

The best writers write effortlessly; as soon as their hands touch the keyboard their fingers weave pieces of their lives, dreams and that obscure art they saw while stumbling into the trash-bins drunk, on Friday night.

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Road pigs

Women on bike

The leader of the pack (cue 60s music) raised his hand in a fist, and the procession came to a halt. He dismounted his hog like it was a horse, and walked towards the bunny with the largest bosom.

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Trash talk

Ferrari

Every woman in the country understands that a green license plate means you could never afford this car; we’re smart like that. So smart in fact that we can tell the size of your penis from said car.

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Chalk please!

Star wars coffee

I know he was being helpful, but I’m neither blind nor stupid; what bothered me the most though, is that I’d actually asked for wine, not wipes.

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Random posts

  • Stir the pot: Painter and teacher Ghada Saghiyeh has a bone to pick with Beirut. I take a look behind the muted, angry art and into outspoken, angrier woman.
  • 12 angry convicts: Drama therapist Zena Daccache talks about her creative remake of 12 Angry Men. The catch? She casts the hardened inmates of Roumieh Prison.
  • Holy ghost: Literary scholar Archbishop Georges Khodr hopes to change the Lebanese youth through example and published lectures.
  • Chocolate cake: The pub was crowded and loud, and there was chocolate involved. I know this because cake was rammed into my mouth before I sat down.
  • Desert toes: In Cairo, there’s an overcrowded area called Khan el Khalil. There I was, wet, smelly and limping on what may have been a broken toe; just like me to have a flashback.
  • Toon out: Armand Homsi has spent the better part of his life speaking out through cartoons. Known mostly for his contributions to An Nahar, he never shies away from speaking his mind.
  • Take the stairs: Have you ever soaked up the bohemian vibe around Gemmayzeh Stairs? Thank Joseph Raidy, the man behind its renaissance.
  • Road pigs: The leader of the pack (cue 60s music) raised his hand in a fist, and the procession came to a halt. He dismounted his hog like it was a horse, and walked towards the bunny with the largest bosom.
  • E-lust: We live in a world larger than our egos, and understandably want to shrink it into manageable screens. And wouldn’t it just be lovely if our social lives were really servants of mice and keyboards?
  • Seed of Zicco: Zicco House is much more than just the poetry readings and concerts at the Samra Bar: it's a launch-pad for the country's most prominent movements, and has become a hub for thinkers and dissidents who dream of change.
  • Boxed brides: China has an epidemic of single women who don’t want the local life, or the local men.

Recent comments

  • Hani Bathish on Burned breakfast: Great article, there are a few ‘alleged chefs’ and restaurateurs I...
  • GASS on We’re married!: you’re so cute guys !
  • nicolien on Love me Dutch: Dutch people definitely rock… and we also know how to pick us some nice Lebanese...
  • yasmine on Google hates Arabs, and housekeepers?: This is the most entertaining thing yet – I can’t stop...
  • Abbie on Monkey seeds revolution: Sometimes it’s simply hard to understand how “stupid” ppl can be....
  • Mack trucks on Drob frem: It is great that from a war toned country a super car designer is evolved. There is no...
  • Hani Bathish on Monkey seeds revolution: Oh man, I can’t tell you how many times I have slammed into human...
  • Jad Aoun on Monkey seeds revolution: I’m still here juggling a thousand and one things. Just shared your post...
  • Jad Aoun on Monkey seeds revolution: Absolutely hilarious! Not only did you eventually get the green light to run the...
  • tasteofbeirut on Bearded bells: I have been enjoying your pieces.
  • Sonia on We’re married!: I am amazed to see all these came true. You are a beautiful couple and very nice...
  • Georgia on We’re married!: And here was me thinking you’d fallen off the edge of the planet…....