Just as Robinson Crusoe rediscovered religion, my mother called to chat, and suddenly I felt a little bit better.
Full Story »Man vs. kitten
When tigers roamed free, we kept our distance. We lived in mud huts, lit fires and sharpened sticks, and prayed that tigers would just leave our miserable little villages alone.
Full Story »Grass and kufta
Somewhere in my late twenties I joined the Time Out family, and within a year I had built a mental database of cheeses, meats, oils, herbs and plenty of things that I’d never before let into my stomach.
Full Story »Deserts ahoy
We’re not built for sudden changes. When my ancestors travelled they spent weeks preparing ropes and mounts; I packed clean shorts into a small bag and walked through metal detector after detector.
Full Story »Burned breakfast
When it comes to playing with food, nothing is more dangerous than ruining a man’s breakfast.
Full Story »Cats in heat
The way cats go about the mating dance leaves little wonder why the species never got around to developing real societies
Full Story »So long, and thanks for all the Jack
I have it; the answer to our failing economy, our miserable jobs and our national gloom. It’s simple, and has been staring us in the face for a couple of generations.
Full Story »Fat in Beirut
So, three fat women walk into a government office in Beirut; did that sound like the front end of a bad joke? Let me try again.
Full Story »Tone deaf
The best writers write effortlessly; as soon as their hands touch the keyboard their fingers weave pieces of their lives, dreams and that obscure art they saw while stumbling into the trash-bins drunk, on Friday night.
Full Story »Road pigs
The leader of the pack (cue 60s music) raised his hand in a fist, and the procession came to a halt. He dismounted his hog like it was a horse, and walked towards the bunny with the largest bosom.
Full Story »Trash talk
Every woman in the country understands that a green license plate means you could never afford this car; we’re smart like that. So smart in fact that we can tell the size of your penis from said car.
Full Story »Chalk please!
I know he was being helpful, but I’m neither blind nor stupid; what bothered me the most though, is that I’d actually asked for wine, not wipes.
Full Story »My darling valentine
Ask me anytime, and I’ll argue the merits of bachelorhood with the eloquence of Arabian philosophers and the conviction of pack-mules; any time, except around Valentine’s.
Full Story »Business beef
I generally tend to avoid potentially violent confrontations in closed environments, especially when said environments float at around 50,000 feet.
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